


Because I Was Taught to Dream

by roguefaerie (samidha)



Series: Finding Home Away From Home (GQ/NB Dean Winchester with Shadow Moon Fics) [8]
Category: American Gods (TV), American Gods - Neil Gaiman, Gabriel (2007), Norse Religion & Lore, Once Upon a Time (TV), Peter Pan & Related Fandoms, Supernatural
Genre: Bonding, Cinnamon rolls, Coming Out, Coming Out is Never a One Time Deal, Dean Has Nightmares, Dean Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Dean and Shadow are best friends, Dean is queer, Gen, Genderqueer Dean, I can't promise you there won't be Dean/Shadow in this series okay?, I want everyone to be able to find this but adding so many tags has gotten to be a chore, Long and Slow Process, Names, Nonbinary Dean, Queer Shadow Moon, Queer af - Freeform, Queerplatonic Relationships, SO MANY ADDITIONAL TAGS, Sam Has Powers, Shadow is Queer, This is queer gen-ish, This series is really queer, Trans, Trans Dean, Trying to Come Out When the Conversations Were More Rare
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-12
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-12-01 07:05:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11481198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samidha/pseuds/roguefaerie
Summary: Dean and Shadow are leaving Berkeley behind and waiting for their next instruction from their strange benefactor.





	Because I Was Taught to Dream

**Author's Note:**

> I know this crossover is a slow build for inclusion of everything I intend. I'm juggling a lot of fandoms and posting as I go. This is a WIP. I'm keeping it that way as it's my happy place. I hope you are enjoying it--you can also come back when it's complete, no hard feelings. :) General reminder that if you want this in long form it's all being posted in one document named Tinker Bell. But people are reading both ways, so I'll keep producing this both ways. This series has moderated comments.

You are walking out to the car from the restaurant when you tell Shadow in the quiet of the open air. “You’re-the-first-one-I’ve-told.”

“Huh?”

“About. About Sam. About Sam. And some things about me, but I mean Sam. You’re the first one I’ve told.”

“Oh. Wow.”

You can tell Shadow is chewing on that revelation as you get in the car and he starts her up.

Silence falls and you just let him drive and drive and drive.

“Wednesday will show up,” he says, but he’s talking to himself.

You fall asleep behind him soon after that, thinking of Sam, and how pure it was to be at Berkeley, and how far you’ve come.

Because of Shadow. Because of Shadow.

When you wake up, he’s driving east.

“Driving just to drive,” he says, “Nothing from Wednesday yet.”

“This isn’t how I thought things would go.”

“Tinker Bell. You okay?”

“Y-yeah. I...just...never told anyone…”

“A lot of stuff you told me. I know. And I really, really, really understand. And I appreciate it so much.”

“You told the asshole that I’m your best friend.”

“I told Technical Boy you are my best friend. Because it’s true.”

“And you’re…you’re mine,” you say. “I want you to know, after all this.”

“Thank you. It means a lot.”

You are driving east and you are with your best friend and as long as you keep moving there will be no Sam. You will wait for a mirror. Everything will be okay.

*~*~*

You wake from a nightmare.

“Sssh,” Shadow is saying. “Okay, Tinker Bell. Tinker Bell. I got you.”

“Y-you’re the on--only one who knows...I don’t like my name.”

“People have known,” Shadow says, “I mean, I’m not that special--I just notice. And I respect you. It’s okay, Tinker Bell.”

“S-sam. It was Sam.”

“I know. You were yelling.”

“One day I think he--”

“Sssh. If he ever comes here we’ll handle it.”

“Sam had this bug collection. But he just collected ‘em to kill ‘em.”

“We’ll handle it.”

“Where’s Odin?” you ask in a voice that’s small even to your own ears.

“He’ll come when we need him,” Shadow says with confidence. “Right now, we got each other. You feel okay about that, right?”

“I… Shadow, how do you always know what to say?”

“Practice. Couple other things. Don’t worry, Tinker Bell. We got each other now.”

“But how--how is it not my fault?”

“Sam is his own person. How old were you when you were raising him?”

“Four.”

“Do you think whatever this is that’s going on with your brother, that it could be a four year old’s fault?”

“N-no.”

“So? It’s not your fault. You were a kid too. Raising a kid. You did enough. You did your best. Sam is Sam.”

“Peter Pan,” you breathe. “Peter--Peter Pan. He was always… Peter.”

“I know, Tinker Bell. But that’s over now.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you have me. I have you. We have each other, remember? And Wednesday. We have our own lives. You’re not still raising him.”

You nod, curt and military style. Okay. Yeah.

You have each other now.

*~*~* 

East. You are heading east and it makes you realize the tension is mounting.

“I’m going to miss it here so much,” you say. “And--and--having stuff, having stuff in my closet.”

“Just as long as you’re not stuck inside it, Tinker Bell. I know you will. I don’t know where we’ll end up.”

Shadow’s hand is on your knee and it is grounding and it doesn’t hurt and maybe this is okay.

“All my life I’ve been looking in mirrors and what I feel never matches up to what’s there. If it wasn’t for Odin showing up in them sometimes, when I really need him...I’d probably cover them all and never use them.”

Shadow nods. “I know.”

“Have you seen him in any yet?”

“Not yet. Not yet. But I’m looking. Ever since you started telling me who he was--how you see him--I’ve been looking.”

“Good. He’ll show. Somehow.”

And you do have faith he will. You’re just also not sure if he’ll be too late when he does.

*~*~*

You don’t want to fall asleep, but you do, you do, while Shadow drives.

*~*~*

Sam. Sam is just everywhere in your mind. Wearing green. Carrying weapons. Of course carrying weapons. Hunting.

Sam is hunting.

*~*~*

You wake up. “Pull over! Pull over!”

You retch into some bushes.

“Sam. Sam has something up his sleeve, Shadow. He really does.”

“Just remember I’m here,” Shadow says. “Just remember we have each other.”


End file.
